So we haven’t spoken much or at all, just when SHE wants to. Then she leaves me hanging, which if I did to her she would chew me out. Then she accuses me of ignoring her. She is ridiculous. I don’t want anything to do with her anymore. I’m officially done with her. I did my very best and it wasn’t good enough for her. I’ll learn to despise her with all of my heart until it turns completely black. But I’m done…

So it’s been seven days since I last spoke with my mujer. I guess this really is the end. I don’t know why she changed all of a sudden, but I guess that’s life. I really miss talking to her but I can’t go crawling back to her because then it’s like I’m reinforcing how she acts. I mean, it’s like this — if I do something to her she goes nuts on me but if she does it to me she could care less. I hate that.

Hmmm… what more can I do? I tried being as great as I could be to her and she just didn’t care. Girls are complicated but I really liked her that I would do anything to please her. Unfortunately, she thinks of me as whatever. There’s nothing more I can do now. I tried my best and it wasn’t good enough.

Ok so we started talking again. It started out being general until i broke loose with some emotions after she asked me what I had in store for her for christmas. You see, i promised her a big surprise that would melt her heart and she really seems to be looking forward to it. i told her i love making her feel special and treating her like a princess. She said she knows but today it was back to the same shit. it’s not going anywhere and it really tears my heart out. what more can i do? i come to her and she gives me the cold shoulder. when i keep away she confronts me about it and says why am i avoiding her. i wish she cared about me but i dont think she does…

this current situation got me to think of all the girls i have come across in the past 7 years. of course we start off with…

- marie who was so nice to me when i was down and out over my car accident. she was nice and was caring. havent come across anyone like her since.

- kim was an awful experience much like rosie. in fact rosie reminds me exactly of kim. kim cared about herself too much in the end and she left me scared over the way she treated me. that was in 2004.

- michelle was my english teacher who was single. she and i flirted a lot and i liked her for just being different. 2005

- janna i met in school and she was another different girl. unfortunately she was taken so i was a jerk to her in order to keep my feelings at bay. she gave my her number and i didnt care. i saw her recently and i should have talked to her but i didnt.

- then there was gina. she was different cause she didnt get along with girls and i was in my hate girls mode. she was taken so nothing came of it. i did stress over her a lot and it drove me nuts.

and now we are dealing with rosie. the outcome doesnt look good right now…

wel its been two days without rosie. i think in my heart its better she is gone cause then i wont stress over her anymore. its going to take a while before i can get her out of my head and heart but i dont have much of a choice. it sucks when the person you love rejects your feelings but thats life.

wel its been two days without rosie. i think in my heart its better she is gone cause then i wont stress over her anymore. its going to take a while before i can get her out of my head and heart but i dont have much of a choice. it sucks when the person you love rejects your feelings but thats life.